DANGERS OF INTERNET DATING: 2014 Daniel Nwankwo.

(c) 2014 Daniel Nwankwo. 

 The Web was invented by English scientist Tim Berners-Lee in 1989. It is estimated that the population of internet users is about 1.5 billion as at January 2009, but in 2014, there have been a tenfold increase in the number of internet users around the globe. This increase is put at about 75% of the world’s population representing approximately 3billion internet users across the globe. Of course, this population is made up of largely beautiful, handsome, young and energetic ladies and gentlemen.

Dating is an intimate relationship between two people of the opposite sex with some level of romance. Generally, Christian singles are not encouraged to date because activities of dating most times contradict the biblical teaching of seeking and following the will of God for marriage.

Worthy of note here is the fact that certain practices are alien to us as Africans no matter how globalised we try to become, suffice same to mean that certain practices are alien to us as believers in Christ and followers of the teaching of the Holy Scriptures. The degree to which the above statement is correct determines what we accept, adopt and practice as lovers of God and custodians of His principles. We are better encouraged to seek after God’s will and practice genuine courtship with the guidance of godly mentors in order to have a happy and lasting marriage.

 Internet dating therefore is the practice of searching for a romantic or sexual partner on the internet typically via a dedicated website. It could as well be defined as a personal introductory system whereby individuals can find and contact each other over the Internet to arrange a Date usually with the intention of developing a personal, romantic or sexual relationship.Today social networks like Facebook, whatsapp, Twitter, Instagram etc are regular channels of internet meetings(dating). The internet and /or social networks are not bad or unhealthy in themselves but unwholesome activities can take place within them. So establishing an online relationship is not bad but what goes on in the relationship is what our concerns are pinned on. we cannot outrightly condemn relationships through the internet because,  God can use it as a channel to give us  wives/husbands hence the right approach is followed.

WHAT THEN ARE THE DANGERS OF INTERNET DATING?

1.     Masked Identity:It is easy to become someone else online. we see a lot of disclaimers any time we log on to the internet “disclosing highly personal information to someone you do not know online could be unwise at best and very dangerous at worst” people often communicate who they would like to be online and not who they truly are in practice. We hear countless of complaints from internet users of con men/women trolling online dating sites looking for victims.Masked Identities refers to individuals who tend to mislead by concealing their true character and misrepresent certain information about their true selves.  This practice is unsafe and can lead one into a lot of problems.

2.      Trust and Susceptibility to lies:it is almost impossible to trust anyone you haven’t seen face to face. With the current global insecurity, you cannot be too sure of whom you are going into some relationship with because of trust. Ability to develop trust for someone you barely know does not come easy. It is usually born out of months,  if not years of experience.On the internet, you tend to believe lies that are unfounded. An individual can be made to believe anything over the internet. If I am rich or poor, there is no way you can know until I have proven it beyond every reasonable doubt.

3.     Unhelpful excess choices: we may wish to make reference to the percentage of the world’s population of those who use the internet. This may give us an idea of the number of choices an individual has to chose from.  Millions of men and women from this social networks and other designated sites,  people who are out for relationship hunt on the internet. These numerous choices will leave one vulnerable to all manner of lies and deceit. Including the readiness to drop and pick at will since they are such innumerable number of handsomemen and beautiful women one  can settle for on the internet.

4. Clouds our sense of judgment:on this matter, it is completely difficult to know with precision the right judgment to make as we have too many people advising us on different things on one topic. Coupled with the fact that we are open to too many choices, we can easily give up at the slightest sign of disappointment or disapproving statement. Please note, People act more rudely online than they do in real life. Our chances to reconcile facial appearance that helps to enhance quality communication with the possibility that someone is angry may be difficult. With the online distance, people act and speak rudely especially when they feel they are speaking with unknown persons. Conversely, people can be extremely too calm for fear of losing their chase to numerous other chances online. This in away has its own problem as we might end up fallen in love with machines thinking they are humans.  Remember you can only get married to a man   not machine as machined do not have feelings. (The game of technology).

5.     Doctored imagery; the technology has brought divers techniques into the world of beauty and aesthetics. This also has its attendant negative effect on online date and love finders. Images can be doctored to look uglier or more beautiful than they truly are. A very short fellow could appear tall and vice versa as still images do not talk.

6.     Going after what don’t actually need; this point, tries to explain the above point better. We could waste a lot of time going after what we really do not need. Usually a communication starts within a few weeks of contact. It continues like that after months, a face to face meeting is fixed and you will suddenly discover that he or she is too tall or too short for you. May be even too hairy for human. At that time all the energy invested and emotions greatly grown takes a down slope leading to disappointments and wasted time.

Finally, seek God for direction of a life partner and rely more on the physical sister or brother you have seen and touched right within the fellowship of believers. One you have seen fruits of righteousness dropping from. If at any time you find someone interesting online, seek for counseling from your pastors physically; bring the online partner offline and follow the biblical lay down rules of courtship and marriage. You may  find a life partner online but you cannot marry yourselves online or have children online-married people live in a physical world not on a cybernet.